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We could only make the decision that felt right for our family. How would the kids feel about not knowing him? Would they feel like they were missing out? What if they wanted to meet him one day? Eventually, we realized there was so much we couldn’t know or plan for. In the end, we decided to go with an anonymous donor. How Infertility and Depression Made Me Reconsider My Parenting Dream Did we want the kids to meet the donor? If so, how would that affect our relationship with them? Would they want to call him “dad”? Does that mean we’d be adding a new member to our family? And what about the donor’s family - would we be in contact with them, too? We had countless discussions about how it would impact our future children.
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So, sperm bank it was!įorget what you see on TV - using a sperm donor is stressful. We briefly considered asking a friend before realizing how confusing that could make things down the road. The next question: Where would we get the sperm? That may sound funny, but it’s harder than you think. We both had a uterus and were in good health, so we decided we’d have two children, with each of us carrying one. First of all, we had to decide who was going to carry the baby. For lesbians, there are a lot of questions to answer first. With a beginning like that, no one was surprised that when we decided to start our family, things were… complicated.įor many straight couples, deciding to have a baby is as simple as having The Talk and going off birth control.